Eeheehee, ahhaahaaa


I’ve downloaded the FF XIV open beta client and started making a character. Warning, this is about to get blunt. And it’s not pretty. AND it’s not a review, so move along if that’s what you’re here for. It’s a personal rant.

— I’m barely halfway through character creation and already I feel nauseous. The cutesey! It’s killing me! I detest the stereotype of the shrieking, cheerleader like “wooo!”ing perky girl-child-but-oh-yes-definitely-old-enough-for-sex female and, well, I’ve been bludgeoned by it more in the last 5 minutes than in the last 5 months. It’s so bad I’ve had to invent a new post tag for it.

— Yes, I know it’s anime-ish. Yes, I know that’s what the most popular MMO artistic styles are like over there. All I am saying is I’m more Ando Hiroshige than Curse of the Multiprick or whatever that movie was called.

— The music… oh good god the music… Torture me with that Bontempi-created plinkety plink for about 10 minutes and I will break down and tell you everything I know, everything I don’t know, and everything I can possibly pretend I know. In that sense the Final Fantasy tradition is alive and well.

And every time I confirm a character creation choice my… abomination of a character squeals and jumps and goes heeeheeeheee! haaahaaahaa! and I want nothing more than to just walk away. Before I do something terminal like shut down the client and never, ever touch it again.

I’m sure this will cost me some devoted FF-whatever fans. I just say it the way I feel it, and she is just not something I’d want to feel. Even if I were that way inclined it would make me feel like a dirty old man when of those three I really only conform to the “old” bit.

I didn’t really expect anything else — it is what it is and it’s Final Fantasy. In that sense, it’s exactly what I expected. It just hit me before I was sufficiently caffeinated (and therefore tolerant).

Well, back to it. For MMO science!

The things I do for you guys.

10 thoughts on “Eeheehee, ahhaahaaa

  1. ‘cutepuke’ lmao – that’s awesome! That’s one thing I never got about anime. You could be going along, minding your own business enjoying some cool sci-fi action and out pops the inevitable big eyed child sidekick hollering. Always ruined it for me. Have fun, hopefully the music gets better.

    1. Sadly I haven’t actually had a chance to play yet. Even if work allowed it (which it doesn’t and likely won’t until late next week), the servers are down. Some things don’t change no matter what the beta. πŸ˜€

  2. “and out pops the inevitable big eyed child sidekick hollering”

    There’s anime that avoids that very well. I know, it’s not the majority… but it exists.

  3. Gotta say, with all of the negative press and feedback coming out of the FFXIV beta I’m thinking I’m just going to stay clear of the entire game. Such a shame really cause I was hoping for a lot with it πŸ™

    1. Naah, don’t let my early morning cutepuke put you off. πŸ˜€ I haven’t even managed to get in game yet, mostly because work is keeping me from it, but my friend has been playing it for a couple of days and she’s having fun. She *did* say not to expect your traditional Western MMO, but I think we all knew that going in.

      From what I’ve seen of the char creator, it’s also very much designed for console users. I don’t know enough about it to know if it’s coming out for consoles but I would imagine yes. I just hope that doesn’t make the UI too difficult to use on a PC.

      (And yes, I’m sitting on my email, just not for the blog. :D)

  4. LOL you chose to make a Miqo’te, now that’s really your own fault! =P
    You could’ve rolled Roegadyn, highlander male or at least a human female, they’re a lot less ‘cutesy’, hehe….I played FF11 and the classes I’d touch the least in both games is the shorties, elves and cat ladies.

  5. Yeah, that sounds just like Final Fantasy to me. Lots of cheesy voice acting, lots of squeals from girl anime characters and lots of silly music. You probably should have at least tried to play some of the JRPG versions of Final Fantasy to kind of Acclimate yourself with the culture a little bit so it wouldn’t be as much as a shock. Knowing a thing is very different from actually experiencing a thing lol.. It can be very brutal if your not use to it. I play a lot of console type games similar so it probably wouldn’t effect me as much, but it can be annoying to those not use to it.

    I will stay tuned for your updates. When I’m not busy doing some tossing of my own as they say. lol

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