Le Singe est dans l’Arbre

singearbreSqueaking this foofery post in under the monthly deadline!

It’s the usual: if you’ve got a link to me on your site, you’re a star. If I’m not reciprocating, it’s not because I’m a spiky byotch but most likely because I didn’t notice. Let me know in the comments here and it shall be remedied.

If you’re on my blogroll and I’m not on yours, chances are you’ll be purged after a few months unless you’re really really interesting or funny or famous or something. Why yes, in this case I am being a spiky byotch and there’s no excuse! Obliviousness only works for me!

Seriously though, one of these days I’ll find a way to make that ridiculously long blogroll a little easier to navigate. Damned if I’ve figured out how in 6 months of thinking about it though — at least, I haven’t come up with a method that requires a lot more maintenance from me than I’m willing to put in.

Cake– no, Novel or death!

Okay, okay, I’m jumping on the bandwagon. Prodded by people like Syp and Scarybooster, and several others I’m not awake enough to remember yet (oh hai Rivs!), here I am.

Qualifications? Who needs ’em! But as it happens I’ve got some degrees and they might have to do with literature in two languages, which makes me educated enough to have no clue about anything. Also, I’m really mean about books that are poorly edited (let alone poorly-written — everyone’s a critic and that includes me), not to mention books in which the foreign-languageyness is incorrect. If you’re going to include French or German or some other language I can read in your book, make sure you get it right or Ysh will smash. The French really don’t spend all day saying “Oooh la la” — in fact they pretty much never say it at all. It’s not a French expression, at least not in the way it’s used in English. And while I know French conjugations and tenses ain’t easy, that’s absolutely no excuse for a professional publication to get things wrong.

(Oh yeah, you should see me yelling at TV shows too. YSH SMASH!)

All of which means that if I have the balls James Mason gave a fly, I’ll put my money where my mouth is and join up. Wait… the whole body parts association thing in the previous sentence isn’t sitting well. Eh, never mind, I can come back and edit it out later.

screamThe rather precarious excuse I gave last week was that I’d be snowed under with words — err, work. I was slated to have 70,000 words to translate in November and adding 50,000 of my own to that didn’t really appeal. (Why yes, it was a yeller-bellied, lily-livered pansy-ass excuse, but we’ll pretend it was valid.) However, said work has been delayed and my excuse vanished.

You’d think the karma pixies were conspiring or something.

Just as well there’s a couple of days to go because I have almost no idea what I’m going to write or how I’m going to write it. I’ve also been one of those pretentious suffering blocked types for many many years, which I won’t bore you with other than to mention in passing that putting pen to paper has gone from being as basic as breathing to me to being something that will break me out in a cold sweat, literally. Fortunately, NaNoWriMo actually provides a workmanlike, no-nonsense “just write something, dumbass!” attitude that’s much more helpful in these situations than any kind of coddling.

So we’ll see.

I’m pissing my bland-white unisex MMO undies already.