Don’t quote me

Did I say I wasn’t going to do any more beta tests? Me? Surely not.

You’re imagining things.

It’s Lars’ fault at MMOMent of Zen for mentioning that he was looking forward to Final Fantasy XIV. “XIV?” thought I. “Surely he means XIII, which just came out but isn’t an MMO?” Goes to show what a newb I am and how far Final Fantasy in general had dropped off my radar. As I said t’other day, I always enjoyed FF stuff but I was never a rabid fan — but then, I’m not really a rabid fan about games in general, because said rabidity usually seems to involve wearing all kinds of blinkers and being all kinds of asshat.

Nonetheless, that small difference in numerals sent me over to Google, where I quickly confirmed that I am a clueless newb and that there is a new FF MMO in development; and Lars was, or course, entirely right with the numbers. So I clickied on linkies and after a few “where the hell in the world are you, byotch, we’re a huge company and you have to narrow things down unless you can read kanji, m’kay?” I eventually ended up on the North American FF XIV page.

And I suddenly remembered one of the things I always did love about Final Fantasy, which is how damned ridiculously pretty it is.

That’s art from the main site, I don’t think it’s a game screenshot, but DAMN! The amount of texture detail there is one of the things I love about the relentless march of computing progress. And I like maps so this one was a no-brainer.

Long story short, I saw the BETA HERE!!! button on the main site page and, being the monkey-ridden MMO addict that I am, I had to click it, and seven short hours later I had applied for beta.

Okay, maybe not seven, but I do feel as though I just got grilled by some MMO-making company equivalent of the Gestapo. “You will NOT be able to change your answers after they are given!” “You MUST have a Square Enix account before you apply for beta.” “It is vital to us to know what your middle name is, so yes, it’s mandatory you slippery fecking player!”

Many many system details needed. Be easier to just send ’em a dxdiag file, wouldn’t it? Not beta rocket science, but okay, I looked up all the relevant data and ticked all the little boxes, making sure I got it right because if I didn’t IT COULDN’T BE CHANGED and if I screwed up real bad and tried to apply again I would automatically be REJECTED! So, caveat emptor.

“How much do you love the FF series?” (I’m paraphrasing.) On a scale of 1-100. So… what brain-dead flatworm is going to put 13 in there, or 47, or anything less than 100? Talk about trick questions! Which makes me a brain-dead flatworm because I answered it honestly and gave it an 80. I do like the FF series and I enjoy playing them when I do, but I don’t lie awake at night waiting for the next one or trying to figure out how I can turn Sephiroth into a real boy.

And finally a question I don’t think I’ve seen before on a beta app: “Do you run a fan site?” Weeelll… kinda-sorta. I don’t think this blog is a fan site per se, but in the interests of full disclosure I gave them the URL anyway. I now fully expect never to get a beta invite.

As far as I can tell the release date is 2010, no other details. Anyone with more info is more than welcome to enlighten me.